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The Problem w/kidz theze Dayz: DNX-SubSuperStratic Niner Irving (as published in LyfeStYle'n'VoguE/TimElifemegazine2362-BCRE)

I'm hurdling nine-thousand feet per second through walls of sonic distortion with the world's oldest rap superstar. We're heading toward a massive wall of what appears to be asparagus.

"Ya like what ya like?" he asks as I snap back to consensus reality.

Oh yeah, I like.

So do lots of people. 36 million cans of DNX-SubSuperStratic Niner Irving sold last month.

Some like the old skool beats. Some like the hallucinations.

But the fact is, everyone wants them some Irving.

Q: What's it like to be a 121 year old icon?

DNX: Man, I hate this. My back's sore all the time and I ain't never had no dental plan. Still, I try to keep it together for the ladies.

Q: You're my favorite sample.

DNX: Which one?

Q: (performs the soul-scream from the track "YETI-WARMONGER")

DNX: Hey, that ain't bad. You almost sound as good as me.

Q: You can still do it?

DNX: Oh yeah. Listen.

He proceeds to perform acapella. No denying it. Even after 101 years, he's still got it.

Q: Wow.

DNX: Yeah. I held back a little, so you didn't have a heart attack or nothin'.

Q: How does it feel to have a new generation of fans?

DNX: Well, ya know, I think that this here next generation is much like the first generation of my fans, yo'm'sayin?
They real. They tight. They love the groove. I mean, the two generations in the middle, they just couldn't be there to see what I saw- they don't remember the terror. They don't know shit about how hard it was for us. But with the new technology, the kids now... they KNOW, brother.
I mean, shit. You can have a total sensory experience in a CAN. Back when I was a shorty, I never would have thought
of shit like that. Ya'll have worked miracles, and I'm glad that I can participate in that.

Q: Any future plans?

DNX: Ya'll just keep creatin' this crazy shit, and I'll be around to mess with it. ReMiX Vol III of DNX-SubSuperStratic Niner Irving is comin' out in 2 days and I encourage everyone to catch some.

Q: Word.

DNX: (laughs) I haven't heard that in sixty years!

Excellent

Excellent. I interview these cats all the time. They talk just like that.

Good flash fiction.

kelson.philo's picture

HAHAHA....what's DNX's view

HAHAHA....what's DNX's view on DRM, I wonder?

YETI-WARMONGER?

YETI-WARMONGER?

...yeah I'd probably download it from Itunes.