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The Book of Jim

The Book of Jim
by
Bill Rogers

After pondering for another twelve billion years, Jim thought He had this whole angels-on-a-pinhead thing pretty well figured out. So He paused and looked around Himself. And lo, there was Nothing, and darkness was upon the face of the deep.

And Jim frowned, and said "Darkness sucks." And lo, there was light. And Jim looked upon the light and said "Cool! It's sort of a wave, sort of a particle, sort of a statistical function, and not really any of them at all. Even Einstein will never quite figure it out."

And Jim looked for a place to sit, and lo, there was nothing upon which to sit. So Jim said "Let there be stuff," and there was stuff. And Jim looked upon the stuff, and saw that he was in his living room on a beautiful Saturday afternoon, and it was good. He was sitting with his best friend Andrew, sipping cold beer, and he had the Red Sox game playing on the big Philco console radio.

And lo, Andrew spake unto him, saying "But what if God created the world four thousand years ago, like the Bible said, but when he created it, he made it already old? With the dinosaur bones and everything built right in?"

Jim sipped his beer. "Let's do you one better. What if he created it, say, this morning, just when you got out of bed? And he made you, in the moment he created you, twenty-five years old, complete with memories of a past that never happened?"

Andrew looked disturbed. He sipped his beer too. It was excellent beer, in spite of being canned; he rather thought it was the best beer he'd ever tasted in his life. "Are you saying God created the world this morning?"

Jim looked at the clock. "No. Of course not. The question is merely hypothetical."

"Well, what would He get from it? Why would He do such a thing?"

"I don't know. Maybe because he thought it was funny."

Andrew shuddered. "I don't want to even consider the idea that God likes practical jokes. If that's true, none of us are safe, ever. And none of us really knows anything for certain, ever."

"You have a point," Jim said, and put on his very best Beatific and Infinitely Wise Smile.

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 License.

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