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Jonas:Memories

This is one bit from a much longer story that I'm going to work on. The background of the overall project:
The setting is historically identical to the real world. In the outer corners of the world though- at the edge cases- bugs show up. Jonas is one of those bugs. When a firearm is aimed at him, it will never fire. When he holds a firearm, even an unloaded one, it will always fire.

The segment that follows is a confused recollection of his part in Pickett's Charge, during the battle of Gettysburg, roughly 20 years before the main part of the story takes place.

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Machine of Death Entry, "Corporate Negligence" Release Candidate 1

This version is essentially the final draft/complete version. Everything's there, although I'm not 100% happy with the tacked on ending. I think it needs to be there, but it's not 100% where I want it to be. Something about implementing new plot-points at the last second. Figures, right? At any rate, I've certainly learned a great deal about writing seriously through this iterative process. I've got a few more MoD ideas that I'm going to be working on as time passes, and I'll hit them with this same process.

As always, feedback is appreciated.

CHANGELOG

Machine of Death Entry: Corporate Negligence, v.0.5, BETA RELEASE

UPDATE: This now has two versions- one with comments, and one without. To skip to the comments, click here.

This is the official "First Draft", complete with all of the major plot points that I want in the story. I'm looking for feedback on the general structure of the story as a whole, the specific characters that we've got, and the actual implementation of the core plot points.

CHANGELOG

Machine of Death Entry, "Corporate Negligence" v. 0.3

CHANGELOG
v. 0.1 Initial draft release. A basic exposition of the core featureset of the story, released on Oort-Cloud only for early "alpha" phase feedback.

v. 0.2 Removed the "Syphilis" gag. Too slapstick and not dramatic enough. Replaced it with an allusion, relying on the reader's imagination to create the the most humiliating possible death.

v. 0.3 Expanded on the fiscal problems with the company. This will serve as foreshadowing for un-implemented plot points. Current word count ≈ 1,622.

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Machine of Death Entry, "Corporate Negligence" v. 0.1

I'm going to take a crack at the iterative/interactive writing model. I'm working on several stories for the Machine of Death project, which is my first actual attempt at writing fiction for publication. I've had the occasional technical article show up in some places like NewsForge. As you might imagine, I'm have some trepidation about it. Since I'm already concerned about that particular experiment, I see no reason to not expand this to incorporating this into another experiment- namely, Oort-Cloud.

My Personal Rules for Critique

I just wanted to share a few thoughts on what I try and do when making comments about somebody's work. I have a few rules that I follow in terms of how I express my criticism- and I've noticed that (so far) people have been great at both giving and taking criticism (remarkable- my wife was shocked to see some of the comments exchanged). I don't always follow these rules myself, but they're the general formula I try to stick to.

The Story of Mister Rumple Tuggle

This is my current project, and I'm still working on the ending. This one is curious because it's not a narrative, nothing exactly happens. It's a descriptive piece with what I call "meta-conflict". The conflict isn't contained in the story, it's contained in the interaction between the reader and the story. A literary photograph meant to create unrest and discomfort in the reader.

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Short Story a Week

I've been a big critic of NaNoWriMo in the past. This year, when it came up and my list of friends blogs started obsessing over this gigantic waste of time, I wrote a short perl script that hit Wikipedia and generated a 50,000 word novel in minutes. It didn't make a great deal of sense, but having seen what some people pass off as their "nano", that is obviously not a consideration.

Anyway, I'd like to throw out my current undertaking, with the same goal (getting writing) but without the numerical goal. Something that I think will really tie in nicely with the goals of Oort Cloud.

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